When and how did you explain Santa and the tooth fairy to your children?

My 8 year old son sat me down the other night and told me about a boy in his class who lied to the teacer and got caught. He then spent five minutes telling me how he always does his best to tell the truth and how proud he was of me for being so honest with him about things. Just as I was getting ready for my Dad of the year acceptance speech he quickly burst my bubble by following up with "Now Dad are YOU the tooth fairy or what?" I know older kids are telling him these characters are fictional and that he will find out either way but the way he used FBI interogation style of questioning really threw me. I also have a five year old so have to be careful how I phrase the truth so the older lad doesn't shatter his dreams into the bargain. Any advice?

When and how did you explain Santa and the tooth fairy to your children?
Oh boy do I feel %26amp; hear what you are saying! I ALWAY tell my kids NEVER EVER LIE. I tell them that there is never ever a reason to lie.





We homeschool so my oldest believed in Santa till almost 2 years ago. She was 9. She had doubts and she asked about Santa. I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to tell her. I told her to wait till her dad came home.





Well my husband said flat out "yes, we are Santa." Her head dropped and she cried! It broke my heart! I felt so bad.





I then started to explain to her how I did with my cousin years ago. I told her that Santa is more of a feeling. I told her about Saint Nick how he was a real man so Santa was real once. I then told her, "Don't you see Santa on tv and in the mall?" She said yes. So I said, "Well he is real." Then I used Elvis as an example. She knows of him from watching "Full House" lol. I said, "Elvis died years ago. Would you say there is no Elvis?"





The point got across and she felt better. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.





She learned about the tooth fairy I guess when she was 8. Pretty much how your son did. She just blurt it out.





I got a great book a few days ago to use with my younger two when they are older.





http://www.amazon.com/Santa-Are-Real-Har...





It is called "Santa Are You For Real" and it does a great job explaining Saint Nick. It is more of a Christian view and how Christmas is about Jesus.





You may also want to handle this the way my husband's parents did. They told him "When you stop believing in Santa no more presents." So he believed till he moved out. lol





Tell your son your own stories about when you stopped believing. I told my daughter how I still put out cookies and milk when I was a teenager.





As for lying about Santa, the tooth fairy and all ask him this. "Would you have liked to have had no Santa?" Tell him your parents did the same and you had a great time loving Santa. Tell him you wanted him to have great memories of his Christmas too.





Good luck. I struggled with this and it turned out ok. So now I have 1 child down and still 2 believers. My middle daughter will be 8 in Nov so I hope this isn't her last year. ; )
Reply:I let mine figure it out for themselves, just like me.
Reply:r u saying when do u tell them the truth or how do u tell them that santa is a big red guy that has flying reindeer???
Reply:Theres no Santa or tooth fairy's????? I was never told there wasn't i found out by my mother hiding presents badly and waking me up when i had my tooth under my pillows. Its hard but you also don't want him to be the gullible one out of the rest of the kids. good luck I'm sure you really know the right thing to do!
Reply:does he know about "the man with all the noses" he came to check you were asleep before santa arrived. if you were awake he pinched your nose and left a cabbage. so my dad said..and i'm over ?0 now..
Reply:Just tell him the Tooh Fairy has been laid-off due to EU regulations on disposal of human tissue.





He will understand and you wont have told a fib becauce if you looked I bet there are EU/HR regs for such.
Reply:Well my 9 year old doesn't believe in Santa or the tooth fairy anymore, but for him it was just a sort of progression, rather than an interogation!!





I tried to be as honest as I could with him, and he just accepted it. It's so difficult when other kids in school say something, it's hard to make the right decision and they don't stay young for very long.





If it helps I have a 5 year old too, and we just told our eldest that it's fine for him not believe in Santa etc but he mustn't tell his younger brother and sister. We put it in a way that he was a big boy now and therefore responsible so we hoped we could trust him to stay schtum. I'm not sure if it was this or the uncertainty that he might not get anything if he spills the beans!!!
Reply:Tell him that there are some secrets only mommies and daddies are allowed to know. And any parent who tells their kid that secret is a horrible parents and go to jail. Then ask if he wants you to go to jail.
Reply:My daughter always wanted the truth and so I was honest with her and told her. You cannot tell them not to lie and do it yourself. Would he trust you if he was ready to know the truth but you lied to him still. If the younger wants still to believe it wont affect him.
Reply:My mom always used the helper reason. Oh mommy/daddy are helpers to santa/tooth fairy/ easter bunny etc. They are very busy so mommies and daddies help out but storing presents and so on. But besides that I figured out on me own like most kids I think. My cousin is now asking and I thinking in the end we said well wel like to believe in Santa because Santa is part of the Christmas spirit (depending on religious which we pointed out to him as well). Good luck sounds like you do have a future FBI agent in you house.
Reply:as soon as they ask, its time to tell them the truth. just let him know that its a fun way of immagination, ask him not to spoil it for your 5 year old. you could let him help put the presants under the tree to surprise your 5 year old. hell feel real improtant then. I dont think its lieing to your kids. I just think its bringing some magic and wonder into their world untill they are old enough to know . not much different from big bird. Im sure little kids think hes real. besides, there really was a st nick. you may want to go on the internet and find information on the real st nicholas.
Reply:tell them the truth as soon as possible or don't start with the imaginary characters period..Children are rough but its up to us to give them at least the truth on things..as long as we know it to be. We tell our children not to lie buth then we fill their heads with crap like tooth fairies and Santa Claus.. Now what sense does that make.
Reply:Well... are you the tooth fairy?


I know there must be one. The first time my 5-year-old put a tooth in a baggie and place it under his pillow I got it and put two-dollars in it. When he awoke the next morning there was five-dollars there. I guess you probably think I'm cheap too, huh!?


As far as Santa goes... yes... he's alive and lives in all kid's hearts. And I've been a kid for beau-coup years.
Reply:Well that is FBI interrogation was the same way my Son at just about that age did the same thing to us....Ya know....I Did NOT have a case of the honesties then. I let him think there still was a Santa and the tooth fairy. I think he figured it out on is own, about 11 years old for sure. I put it to my son this way when his friends told him there was no Santa.....Do you really think I have the time or the money to buy all this stuff that Santa puts under the tree when you are sleeping???? I don't think so....end of subject....let them think....Always on Christmas morning I would throw a fit because Santa got into my Giftwrap and gifttags....and that that "Fat old Man should stay out of my Gift wrapping room and my giftwrap" Well, my Son would tell me to not call Santa Fat and then I would apologize and all was well...........You know the fun of Santa is just as much for we the parents as it is for our kids, keep it alive as long as possible. When he is older, take him aside, and put some responsibiliy on him for the fun of Santa for his little sibling. They become so grownup at that time, and so helpful too.


NOTE: I or we always had things under the tree from Mom and Dad.......so although Santa brought more...we never looked like we had big bucks to spend. Those gifts were always the underwear, socks, shirts, NEEDS.....and my kids needed to write down the Santa List.....( My stepdaughter whom we raised, was Jewish...my Husband Catholic, and me Episcopalian) So we had our challenges.....the Stepdaughter celebrated Hannakah with her Mother and other siblings on visitation) We only celebrated Christmas here, and we always wish her and the other kids a Happy Hannakah.......
Reply:I never believed in the tooth fairy or santa. It's because both my parents believe in God. They thought that if they told me that there was a tooth fairy or santa and I found out otherwise, then I may think that God doesn't exist either.


I think I'm going to do the same thing with my kids...
Reply:well when we found out (from kids at school) i was devestated!!!! i loved santa, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy.


my 2 other sisters were a yr older and a yr younger than me and we all found out the same time but didnt tell our parents that we knew cos we wanted the m to think we still believed (kind of like as if we thought it was important to them!!!!!)


plus we had a younger sister who was 7 years younger and we didnt want to spoil it for her.





i think in your case if you wanted to be honest with your son, tell him the truth and tell him to just keep up the "lie" so that his other sibling still enjoys the magic of childhood.
Reply:Just like any other lie, cover up with another lie or tell them the truth from the beginning, that's what I do to save myself the trouble. Doesn't it make me a hypocrite to teach my kids not to lie when I do it to them? humm...I'm the one with the question now.
Reply:My 7 year olds have figured the tooth fairy out for themselves. My 10 year old had to have them explained. I explained them when I had chance to talk to him on his own. It was done in a matter of fact way and I said about the stories making things extra fun for small children and about it being traditional and that if he hadn't been told about them when he was younger he wouldn't have understood what his friends were on about. I included on the Santa bit what I knew about how the Santa story started in the first place. I did tell him not to tell his brothers and explained this was because it was fun for them and they are younger- my 10 year old doesn't like upsetting his brothers so he didn't tell them. I haven't done explaining Santa to my 7 year old twins yet. Although we don't allow lieing none of them have seen it as me lieing.
Reply:u just let them figure it out themselves x
Reply:Tell him absolutely not and get your wife to do the tooth fairy bit from now on.





That way you're not lying (well, in the strictest sense of the word anyway).





My parents told me when I started the is it all made up and it's you routine that I could believe or not believe but if I woke up and saw them (tooth fairy/santa) then they'd disappear in a puff of smoke and never come back.





Kept my eyes closed for a good few years after that I can tell you.





No child wants to risk it-there's always that 'but what if it's really real?' in the back of their heads, bless 'em so if I were you I'd keep the dream alive for him (for a few years yet anyway).





Oh, and my parents never told me that they wasn't real (even though we were far too old to believe) he just stopped turning up when I moved out of my parents house ;-(
Reply:i think that the kids should find out by themselve but when they do make sure you tell them that other kids younger then them don't know so they can't tell.
Reply:lol, i don't lie to my child in the first place.